so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
