if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
