he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
