Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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