It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
