Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
