I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
