i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
