all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
