it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
