it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
