He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
