AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
