I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Everclear isn't food dammit
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
