5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
