So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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