well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
