Got a toothbrush?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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