this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize