I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have demons in me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
