Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
