Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
