im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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