it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
