Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
