$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
