So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize