Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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