I want to make a zoo with you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
