insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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