Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
