you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
