I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
