last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
