Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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