so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
