I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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