I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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