it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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