Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
