So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize