I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize