Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize