I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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