Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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