Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize