what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
