It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
