We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize