I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
