I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
