honey bunches of taint.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
