we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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