no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
