I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
