yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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