Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
