4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
