ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
