She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
