Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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