so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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