She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
