i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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