I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize