I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
