it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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