hell yes lets make some ravioli
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
