And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
