i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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