it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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