Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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