My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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