My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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