Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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