Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
