your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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